Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
