Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
