fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
