I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
