I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
