So drunk, too bad you don't want this
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
