sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You smell like stripper and shame
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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