You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
