Do you still have your period?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
