so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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