She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
