I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
