wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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