i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize