i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Those nachos came to me in a dream
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
