Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
