Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
