Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
