Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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