I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
