Cold hands, warm shart.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
