My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
