dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
