WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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