I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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