Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
