So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize