You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
