Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
