I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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