Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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