Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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