Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
