If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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