This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
