I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Terrible idea I love it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
