Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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