I heard we made out
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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