a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
