return my video game
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
