Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
