You don't have asthma, your pregnant
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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