god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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