Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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