they need to just BURY HIM!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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