meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
