Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
