Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I had to cum in my sink.
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