you have to choose: penises or morals?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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