yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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