I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
