So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
