Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
