I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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