at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're using joints as your birthday candles
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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