The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
