How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I didn't notice because vodka
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
