I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
