That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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