Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize