I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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