whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize