guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
