I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
