I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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