your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
