Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
