Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
