The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
