Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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