if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
