Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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