lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
