I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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